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Please enjoy a sneak peek from "Chapter 1: My Love, My Own, My Precious!"
A bead of sweat trickled down my back, and my pale knuckles gripped the chair handles beneath the table. October 7, 2014, was one of the most important days of my life, and I had prepared by studying hundreds of pages and applying extra deodorant. Why must I always be so early? Be presentable. Be professional.
I wore a sweater vest only to cover the bottom of my tie. It was Scooby-Doo themed, and Shaggy’s hair was standing on end. The door handle jiggled, and I scraped one last sleep crumb from the corner of my eye. Time to make a good impression. “Good morning, Dr. Taylor.”
I despise small talk. When my life course hangs in the balance, the last thing I want to discuss is the weather or Thanksgiving plans. Waiting for other members of the meeting took decades, but one by one they arrived with plausible excuses for their tardiness.
“Sorry, I’m late. I had to finish discussing the last few dissertation chapters with a student. He’s due to graduate this spring.”
They joked about their latest books or a mutual colleague’s tremendous contribution to scholarship. It was a game for me to discern which scholar they called on a first name basis. These chairs held four highly esteemed men from whom I had gleaned abundant wisdom over the past three years. Now they would decide if I was prepared to join their ranks. What a preposterous thought!
Most students anticipate summer break. A time for vacation and piling in the car with coolers for the beach or suitcases to visit family. Not me. That summer I had devoted every waking moment from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM in my apartment lobby with three other nerds. We had crammed the world of New Testament scholarship into our brains just to form a foundation for our careers.
Because of divine mercy and those study partners, I somehow had passed seven written “comprehensive exams” with an oral investigation in the queue. But in this room, no friends would carry my weary brain. I could only rely on months of preparation and grace from these scholars.
C’mon, Kevin. Focus! Pass this exam, and you are one step away from a Ph.D.
After translating a few passages and answering some “predictable” questions, I realized that the atmosphere was more of a conversation than a murder trial. But then one professor would challenge my answer, and I felt my hair bristle like Shaggy’s. Pretend you have a poker face. Keep it together. The minute hand stood still as I attempted to steer the conversation back to more comfortable topics, including what each of them believed on controversial issues.
Finally, Dr. Taylor, the Ph.D. chairman, asked me to leave the room while the committee discussed my answers—and my future in the program. I scooted back my chair in silence and thanked them for the opportunity. Pacing didn’t seem to calm my thumping heart as each second ticked.
After they called me back into the room, I tried to maintain eye contact with each of the men. Dr. Taylor assured me that my three years had been most fruitful and that each of them had appreciated my contributions so far. Pause. Deep breath, Kevin. Fortunately, he did not drag out his speech for too long.
“After reading through your written comprehensive answers and hearing what you have had to say today, we agree that you should become a candidate for a doctorate in New Testament studies.”
My eyes glanced from professor to professor. Are you serious? Is this a joke? You mean, I did it? I’m a candidate? I can move forward with my dissertation and then graduate with a Ph.D.?!
They all waited for him to finish another sentence or two, which I honestly didn’t hear. All I needed to know was that I had passed! As he wrapped up his comments, each one stood to shake my hand.
“Congratulations, Kevin!”
“Well done, Kevin!”
“Good job!”
My face was beaming, and my eyes twinkled with excitement. “Thank you, all! Greg and Neil and Dennis and I all worked so hard this summer. This is amazing. Thank you!”
Five minutes later the Dallas sun was melting all my nerves away as I headed home. No study room. No notes. I was having a free day! Time to relax! (Tomorrow I can dive into the dissertation.) I had just memorized and reasoned my way through questions that I figured I had no business being able to answer. But they thought I had what it took. They had accepted me as one of their own.
I threw open the apartment door, allowing all the events of the morning to flood my mind. I planned how I would tell Kim and where I would take her that evening. What should I do all day? What does a regular person even do? I walked into the living room, knelt by the aquarium, and released one more sigh of relief. “Toby, they really wanted me!”
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